Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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