i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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