I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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