The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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