Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
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This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
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Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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