I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
