i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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