why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
