her vagine was all disorganized.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
