that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
