Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
