just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you inspire me to be a worse person
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
