Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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