it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
