OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
