Dual....:-)
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
