Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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