Define "chronic" masturbator.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
