Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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