I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
