We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
