I looked at my own cervix.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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