I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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