i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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