peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
