we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
