I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
