Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
