I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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