tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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