Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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