I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
