She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize