I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The Olympian is in my bed
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
