I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
