The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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