So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
