everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize