Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
