Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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