I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
