I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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