I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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