You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
