Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
