Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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