Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Randomize
