Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
