she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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