That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
