all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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