it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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