Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
