I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
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