You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
