i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
