you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
