he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
