I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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