im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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