I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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